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Post by alex midnight on May 22, 2008 20:19:12 GMT -5
Alex was hoping that once they were a little drunk, that they began to talk about some stuff that Alex was still questioning. He was trying not to get too attached but it was to hard. This boy was acting as if he wanted all this to happen, and that made Alex want it to go furthur even more.
He liked that he could laugh and giggle around Aidan, and that he could get him to laugh and loosen up too. This was definetly the first and knowing Alex's luck the only time Alex would see Aidan like this, and he wanted to enjoy it while it lasted.
Aidan took another drink of his beer, and sat it down on the table, beside Alex's and pulled him into a hug, falling back so Alex was positioned on top of him. Alex smiled, he liked this, and could get used to it.
“You’re cute, did I say that already,” - - - “Well the band is me and Gabe and Nate and Lilly and Kat and Katrina… so now you know them.” he giggled, and hugged Alex even closer. He nuzzled Alex's neck, “And I’ll make sure you’re comfortable,” he said, laughing happily and began to kiss and lick Alex's neck. Alex shivered, bringing his hands up and tangeling his fingers within the locks of his hair.
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aidan cooper
bass [/size][/font]
Music is what feelings sound like
Posts: 144
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Post by aidan cooper on May 22, 2008 20:54:07 GMT -5
This boy was making it so easy to get attached to get sued to this comfort. Aidan hated himself for making it that easy, or he would if he was in his right mind. He really wasn’t capable of much negative thoughts right now, the negativity had dissipated long ago and he was left with this good feeling. He was left with Alex’s warmth and the boy’s laughter and giggles and that was all perfect and wonderful and nice.
Aidan was still sort of kissing and licking at Alex’s neck, his fingers tracing nonsense patterns up and down the boy’s bare back. He then pulled back a bit to kiss Alex lightly on the lips “Hey,” he mumbled, keeping their faces close and thus sort of speaking against Alex’s lips. “Can you get my drink… ‘cause it’s all the way over there and I can’t reach.” He demonstrated this point by actually reaching for the drink on the little coffee table thing and not being able to reach it. He promptly giggled. “Please,” he said, kissing Alex’s chin for added convincing.
They would be happy, the band, if Aidan found someone, anyone, outside the bad who he could get like this with, happy and sweet and cute like this. Even if it was due to drugs, they’d still be happy for him. And they’d love Alex for making Aidan like this. They’d love him more sober probably, both of them, but whatever. Aidan never got like this, high or sober, so… Well Alex was special.
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Post by alex midnight on May 22, 2008 21:09:01 GMT -5
Aidan was making it really easy to get attached, Alex found himself hoping this wouldn't end. He wanted it to last, wanted it to happen more. His touch was inviting, wanted it more. Alex liked it when Aidan giggled like he was, but he wished he would do it more when sober, but knew that probably wouldnt happen. He couldnt see that happening.
Aidan was still kissing and licking Alex's neck, Alex still had his fingers in his hair. Aidan began rubbing his fingers up and down Alex's back in odd patterns. He pulled back from Alex's neck, and lightly kissed him on the lips. He spoke into his lips, “Hey,” - - - “Can you get my drink… ‘cause it’s all the way over there and I can’t reach.” he said, showing Alex that he really couldnt reach it. “Please,” he asked, kissing Alex's chin. Alex took his hands from Aidan's hair and grabbed Aidan's drink, handing it to him, then grabbing his own and drinking the rest of it.
Alex realized that this was probably the happiest he had been with anyone, everyone else just treated him like he was nothing. Rejected him, used him. Aidan was special, he made Alex laugh and giggle, even if it was when he was high, he has never had this much fun when sober, and even when he was high.
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aidan cooper
bass [/size][/font]
Music is what feelings sound like
Posts: 144
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Post by aidan cooper on May 22, 2008 21:21:16 GMT -5
Aidan was so afraid of being used, but he’d never sue Alex like that, the way other people sued him, fucked him over and messed him up. Not intentionally at any rate. Because deep down, under the sadness and depression and all of that fucked up sort of stuff, there was a good, honest, innocent kid, just someone who wanted to love and be loved and live in simplicity. He doubted he’d ever get that. his drug addled brain wanted this forever, this feeling with Alex. It was wonderful. But he wasn’t stupid enough to think that it would last forever. Or even for more then a night or two.
He loved being affectionate, even if he was being super affectionate right now. It was something Aidan was good at and he liked feeling close, in any sort of manner, to someone else. It was terrifying, but it was nice too, like this was nice. Alex’s skin was warm and everything was comfortable. He finished his beer when Alex handed it to him and just sort of dropping it on the floor of the caravan. Then he finished around for the box with the rest of the cans, which was laying right next to the couch. He pulled out another couple cans, handing another to Alex and grinned as he opened his won can/. He took a messy drink, spilling a bit, but smiling when he was done.
His free hand was still tracing patterns on Alex’s back and meanwhile Aidan was just looking into Alex’s eyes as though there was nothing else more interesting, which was probably true. He was already feeling a bit buzzed by the alcohol, a curious sensation when coupled with being high, but whatever. He’d pay for it in the morning but for now this was awesome.
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Post by alex midnight on May 23, 2008 15:08:27 GMT -5
Alex was always paraoid and worried he would be used, but he didnt think Aidan would be the kind of person to do that, since he too was afraid of it. Deep down he knew Aidan was a happy kid. Not so depressed, but something was keeping him from being that wasy, and Alex wanted to find out what it was.
Alex wanted all of this to last forever. He loved Aidan's touch, his laugh, his kisses. He was having fun, and Aidan brought out the real Alex, and he hoped all of it would happen more, and not just a night- or two.
Alex liked feeling close to someone, he could actually get used to it. He liked to be noticed, and Aidan was one of the first people who actually did notice him, accept him. He was always rejected, no matter what. He never got any attention from anyone, he was alone most of his life. And Alex woudlnt be alone anymore if something actually worked out with Aidan. But if it didnt he would at least want to be his friend instead of completly loosing him.
As Alex finished his beer, Aidan tried to find the box of beer with his free hand, the other still lightly tracing patterns in his back. He pulled two more cans out when he found it, handing one to Alex. Aidan opened his beer, taking a messing drink from it, some of the beer dripping down his face and onto his chest, as this happened, Alex leaned down licking it off his chest, and kissing him.
As Aidan's hand was still running up and down Alex's back, he looked into Alex's eyes. Alex smiled, he was beginning to feel a little buzzed from the alcohol, and he could tell Aidan was too. |
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aidan cooper
bass [/size][/font]
Music is what feelings sound like
Posts: 144
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Post by aidan cooper on May 23, 2008 15:20:40 GMT -5
Wouldn’t it be wonderful, to have this feeling forever, to trap it in a bottle and just keep it for the rest of his, however long or short that was. Maybe that was the poet in his speaking, who knew. But he’d love to continue this, even though there was a voice telling him, a dark and mean sort of voice, that Alex could get someone better then him, Alex probably deserved that too. He was just some fucked up kid with a messed up past and scars that went deeper then skin. And Alex was messed up too, but he still had something going for him. Aidan had this band… just the band and one day that would end and he would have nothing.
Right now though he didn’t bother with any of those bad thoughts or eventualities. Especially when his spilled his bear a little and Alex was licking it up form his chest, ticking him like crazy and making him giggle. Being high and drunk and just out of his mind was making him super sensitive, but not in a bad way. It was nice. “That tickles,” he said, trying to sound scolding, but it wasn’t working because of the smile and the laughter. He hit the back of the boy’s head lightly as punishment.
He was drinking his beer again, just being in companionable silence with Alex, breathing and living and smiling and giggling every time Alex shifted above him in a way that tickled just a little bit. “Why do you even wanna be around me,” Aidan finally asked, the beer loosening his tongue and the high making him careless. “I’m just a fucked up emo boy and you’re… you’re amazing,” he finished with a little sigh, this stupid smile plastered on his face. He didn’t look sad or upset, if anything he just looked content.
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Post by alex midnight on May 23, 2008 15:41:43 GMT -5
If all of this would last forever, Alex would be thankful. He wanted this feeling forever, this feeling in his heart. He didn't know what it was, it was just a good feeling, it made him happy. He couldnt stop smiling. Being here with Aidan, was awesome, he felt like there were no problems at all in this fucked up world. It felt nice.
Alex just wished things would work out, he had nothing, he barely even had a house. He had no money, no family, nothing. They all just left him, he didnt know what to do. And if something worked out between him and Aidan, he would finally have something - somthing to call his. Because all he had now was his alcohol and drugs. And that really was no way to live, and Alex was trying to stop, but he was addicted.
As Alex licked the beer off of Aidan's chest, he squirmed under Alex. "That tickles," he said, trying to say it in a scoulding tone, but it didnt work. He was laughing, and lightly tapped Alex on the back of the head.
Aidan took another sip of his beer. Alex opened his taking a big gulp. “Why do you even wanna be around me,” Aidan asked him all of the sudden. “I’m just a fucked up emo boy and you’re… you’re amazing,” he said, sighing. He was still smiling.
Alex look at him, Why wouldnt i want to be around you? Your awesome... and i am really beginning to like you.... but i dont know how you feel... cause i know you have a hard time trusting people, and so do i... but i know i can trust you." he said, looking into his eyes. |
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aidan cooper
bass [/size][/font]
Music is what feelings sound like
Posts: 144
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Post by aidan cooper on May 23, 2008 16:07:24 GMT -5
Aidan’s heart was beating a little out of whack, faster then normal and hard un his chest and he knew somehow that the drugs weren’t entirely responsible. What would this feel like, he wondered, if they were both sober. Would his heart beat as hard? Would the kisses feel the same? Who he still feel nice and warm and comfortable? He was afraid to find out, afraid that the answers would be no and he would have his heart broken. Ignorance is bliss, can’t get hit by a car if you don’t go outside, can’t be hurt if you don’t get attached. It was probably too late for that but he was still holding onto hope.
The beer was making his sleepy, but whatever. Alex was still above him as Aidan looked up with a silly grin. Alex was talking and Aidan got the words, understood them, but he couldn’t believe them, or Alex. It was far fetched and ridiculous, someone thinking he was awesome in the way Alex meant. His band loved him well enough, Aidan knew that. He loved them back just as hard, they were his family, they were all he had. But along with family there was that sense of obligation. Alex had no obligation to him and yet here he was, saying those things.
Poor Aidan didn’t have a lot of self esteem, but who could blame him after what he generally went through, after his mother, after being picked on constantly by kids, after surviving, not living but only surviving, despite his best attempts. Who could blame him for thinking Alex was crazy for liking him, because the boy probably was a bit off his rocker.
“You like me,” he said slowly like he really couldn’t fathom why. “For real for real,” he asked and he trying to ask if Alex had a crush on him without really saying those words. He felt like a little kid again or something. He was ignoring the issue of trust for a moment, just to see if he was right… and he couldn’t explain the tight feeling in his chest.
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Post by alex midnight on May 24, 2008 10:18:11 GMT -5
As Alex told Aidan he liked him, he realized it may have been a mistake. He knew that Aidan didn't turst him, he just thought maybe he did. But the drugs must have been getting to him, because he was retarded for telling him. He really didn't know what to do, didn't know how Aidan would react. Would it be good, or bad? Would he believe him?
He knew Aidan wasnt going to get attached this quick, and maybe Alex wasnt even. Was it just the drugs talking, messing with his head? He didn't know, but he hoped it wasnt just the drugs. Hoped it was more, his heart. But he really hoped things would turn out okay. Alex wanted to see Aidan's reaction.
Alex could tell that Aidan was beginning to get sleepy. Aidan looked up to Alex, with a grin on his face. As Alex told him that he did indeed like him, he noticed that he was listening, taking in every word he said. Alex knew he probably thought it was bullshit.
“You like me,” he said, slowly, as if it were hard for him to believe. “For real for real,” he asked him.
"Yeah i like you, for real... but you probably dont trust me any way....." he said, looking at him. He took another big drink of his beer, almost done with it. |
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aidan cooper
bass [/size][/font]
Music is what feelings sound like
Posts: 144
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Post by aidan cooper on May 24, 2008 10:54:22 GMT -5
Aidan couldn’t really understand, just couldn’t comprehend why on earth Alex liked him. It made no sense, The boy deserved someone better then Aidan, someone who could trust him, someone Alex could trust, someone who could like him back. Aidan didn’t think he could do any of that. He’d be to afraid of getting hurt. All of this was weighting down on his mind along with the alcohol and the drugs. He was looking up at Alex curiously, finished his beer and setting the can down. His hands had paused in their travels up and down Alex’s back.
It had to be… not a joke but something. The drugs fucking up his brain or something. Alex couldn’t really like him like that even though he was assuring Aidan he did. Aidan couldn’t believe it, it would mess things up. This day had been so nice, he was wearing out, get very sleepy very fast. Alex probably didn’t know what he was saying. Aidan still listened but he didn’t say anything for a long moment. He didn’t even nod. Alex had said Aidan probably didn’t trust him. That was true, but Aidan trusted almost no one.
He waited for Alex to finish his beer and once again began moving his hands lightly up and down the boy’s back. He didn’t really know what to say so he didn’t say anything. His eyelids were feeling really heavy. “I’m sleepy,” he stated, the high obvious not having faded despite the little confession from Alex and all the little worries that followed. “Stay,” he requested, seriously just dropping off right there, huigging Alex to him and basically just passing out.
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Post by alex midnight on May 25, 2008 9:31:39 GMT -5
Alex still didnt understand why he was such and idiot, and told Aidan that he liked him. He knew for a fact now that Aidan didnt feel the same way, that he seriously didnt trust Alex. Why was he so stupid? It had to be the drugs that made him do it. Maybe he didnt really like him as much as he thought? Maybe it was just the beer and drugs that made him feel that way. But he was still pretty sure that he liked him.
Aidan probably thought it was a joke, like Alex was just messing around with him. Aidan was probably going to get mad at Alex, and then they wouldnt even be friends. Either that or Aidan would start to feel akward around Alex, and not want to hang out with him. As Alex told him everything, and Aidan took it all in, he said nothing to Alex. He didnt nod, didnt do anything. He just ignored it.
As Alex finished his beer, Aidan - once again - began moving his hands lightly up and down Alex's back. “I’m sleepy,” he said. “Stay,” he said. I didnt plan on leaving...." Aidan hugged Alex to him, Aidan pretty much passed out. Alex layed his head on Aidan's chest, and began to fall asleep. |
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aidan cooper
bass [/size][/font]
Music is what feelings sound like
Posts: 144
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Post by aidan cooper on May 27, 2008 19:27:57 GMT -5
Sleep was good… sleep was always good. Sleep was his ultimate escape from everything bugging him. He rarely dreamt and when he did he had twisted, fucked up dreams that bordered on nightmares but were never scary for him. He knew somehow it wasn’t real and he rode the nightmares out. This nights sleep was blank, dark and perfect and Aidan loved it.
He woke up slowly and almost cautiously. he noticed first that he was still no the bus and wondered briefly why the band hadn’t called. Perhaps they had he just didn’t hear the ring. Then he noticed the weight on his chest, heavy and warm but not unpleasant. Quite the opposite really, it was very pleasant. He opened his eyes even though he knew what he would see.
Alex was sleeping on his chest. the light kind of hurt but Aidan didn’t shut his eyes. he had had worse hangovers, this wasn’t so terrible. He freed and arm and moved to stroke the boy’s hair. They were still shirtless, still just lying on the ouch. He should probably hurt more then he did, coming off a high with a hangover, but he didn’t hurt that bad. This was an nice way to wake up, despite the little aches that came form having someone lie on top of you for hours.
He banished that thought form his head because it would do him no good. Nor was he going to bring up Alex’s little confession. He would deal with it if Alex said something… but not before. Right now he’d just wait for the boy to wake.
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Post by alex midnight on May 27, 2008 20:27:27 GMT -5
Sleep was always good, but no matter what happened. Alex always had nighmares, every night. Most of them were of his past. But Some didnt even make sense, they were just jumbled up with a bunch of random things. And thats what scared Alex, not knowing what his dreams ment.
As Alex was still sleeping, he had his nightmare for the night. It didnt make sense at all. It was him and Aidan, and they were doing exactly what they were tonight. Alex fell asleep on top of Aidan, and when he woke up, Aidan was gone - no where to be found.
Alex woke up, and Aidan was lightly petting his hair. Alex didnt know how long he had been awake, but was glad he was still there. He didnt really know why it scared him so much, but it really did. As he woke up, he looked up to Aidan, and smiled.
As he layed on top of him, he realized that he didnt have to bad of a hangover. He has had worse, but he was just happy that Aidan was still there, with him. "Hi..." he said shyly, looking up at Aidan. He didnt know how Aidan was going to react since they wernt drunk, or high anymore, but he hoped it wouldnt be too bad. "Im sorry about what i said last night... i know you dont trust me... i should have never said anything..." |
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aidan cooper
bass [/size][/font]
Music is what feelings sound like
Posts: 144
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Post by aidan cooper on May 28, 2008 21:01:31 GMT -5
He watched Alex wake up and kept his face blank and passive, hiding all his fears and doubts and thoughts under layers and layers of non-emotion. It was a talent he had perfected when he was younger and was quite grateful for now. It was the reason he could lie brilliantly, not that he ever did. Alex was… he didn’t know, but it wasn’t something negative, it was something… nice, sweet, comfortable. That freaked Aidan out. He wasn’t used to people breaking down his walls so easily, to letting someone do that. So as nice as the feeling was, it wasn’t good.
Then Alex was speaking, apologizing and saying how he knew Aidan didn’t trust him… and Aidan didn’t, he really didn’t. Not completely anyway, not to the degree that would be required to truly like him back, to kiss him, to make this a regular occurrence when sober. Then again, maybe it wasn’t about the trust anyway, maybe it was about the fear and the courage. Aidan was a lot of things he wasn’t brave. He was logical, reasonable, he didn’t take many risks and almost never on people. Alex was a big enough risk already. Aidan wanted to get out of this before any worse happened.
But there was something in him stopping Aidan from shoving the boy off him and forcing the kid out. There was that not-logical part of his mind. That part was taking over and did care much for Alex’s babbling so Aidan put a hand behind Alex’s head and forced the boy foreword a bit, leaning up to kiss the boy firmly. They were sober, hung over a bit, but sober and that was wonderful. It was a good feeling, really it was, sending a tingle down Aidan’s spine. He tangled his fingers in Alex’s hair and though he said nothing he figured this was enough.
Then he realized what he was doing with a mental ‘oh fuck’. He then pulled away form the kiss sharply, trying to sit up and finding a weight on his chest. He was panicking, acting through this panic. He pushed Alex off him, putting his face in his hands, muttering words even he didn’t know what. Probably profanities. “Shit… I shouldn’t have done that.” He didn’t apologize… didn’t see the point. He couldn’t take that back now. “Look, you should go… you should really go.” He was looking at Alex desperately, almost menacingly and he offered no explanation. It was obvious anyway.
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Post by alex midnight on May 28, 2008 21:20:09 GMT -5
   Tell me why I feel so alone… ___________ As Alex woke up he knew that everything wasnt going to go as planned. Aidan would probably freak out on him, tell him to leave. But Alex didnt know what to do, he knew he really like this boy. Could learn to trust him. But could Aidan learn to trust Alex? Probably not, it was impossible.
When Alex apologized he knew exactly what Aidan was thinking of course i dont trust you! are you stupid...? at least that was what Alex figured he was saying. And knowing Alex's luck, thats more than likely was what he was thinking.
Alex figured that Aidan would push him off of his chest, and get as far from him as possible. But he didnt, he just had this look on his face. Like He liked the feeling, but wasnt too sure about it. Aidan all of the sudden pulled Alex's face to his, taking Alex's lips within his own, and tangled his fingers in Alex's hair.
Aidan obviously realized that what he did was just a big mistake, because he pulled away quick, pushing Alex off of him, Alex sitting beside him. Aidan buried his head in his hands, panicing. Alex knew this was going to happen, he just knew it.
“Shit… I shouldn’t have done that.” he said to Alex, not apologizing. “Look, you should go… you should really go.” he said, still panicing. Alex looked over to him. He actually felt as if he were going to cry. He had so much fun with Aidan, and now it was ruined. A tear ran down Alex's cheek. "Why? I really dont understand... if you were just going to kick me out in the morning why did you ask me to stay?" he said, another tear falling, and making a stain on his jeans. |
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