Now here I sing my deadly lullaby [open!]

[Aradia Evans]

Ari let out a soft sigh as she sat down on the side of the road. Bottle of vodka in hand, she took another gulp from quarter empty bottle. She looked at it an set it down, trying not to end up finishing it. THe world was already buzzing, she didn't want to get too drunk.

The reason she was out here was becuase she couldn't sleep. Again. It had been a couple of nights of bad nightmares that had scared her from sleep entirely. She knew she'd wake up, sweating and crying before she realised that it was just a dream. But the only problem with these dreams were that they had already happened. Aradia shook her head, trying to keep it from getting too fuzzy. If they had already happened, why was she getting so worked up over them?

Ari tried to stand up, but wobbled and sat back down onto the curb with a thud. Thank god that the street was pretty much deserted. It was pretty hard to find this quiet a street in New York City. "Guess I'm stuck here." she said to herself before picking up the bottle and taking another drink from it.

[`alex weathers]

Life was a funny thing. It seemed to be making sure that everything in Alex's life that made him happy had to be painfully plucked out, one by one. First his fathers death, and now Luka.

It didn't make sense to Alex, and the picture of Luka's hurt and confused face ran through his mind, making his heart ache. He loved Luka more than life itself, and now that was over with. His chest clenched tightly as he stumbled down a familiar New York street.

Alex knew the streets of New York like the back of his hand. He knew which alleyway would be best to sneak into a club, which bar would let you get a drink underage if you payed them an extra 10 dollars. God, he missed this place. The smoke filled streets, the dark alley ways, the memories. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. He exhaled slowly, thinking of what New York was to him; home, hurt.

Not noticing where he was going, as his eyes were closed, Alex wouldn't have seen his fall coming. None the less, he tumbled over a form on the side of the street, falling to the pavement. He wasn't hurt, but he felt embarrassed.

"God damnit.." he muttered as words such as "failure" and "fuck up" ran through his busy mind. "Sorry," he sighed. Then he noticed what, or who, rather, he had tripped over.

"Ari?"

[Aradia Evans]

Ari felt herself falling sideways and then hitting the sidewalk. "Sorry." she heard herself mutter to the unknown person. Ari looked up at the person and saw that it was someone she knew. She rubbed her eyes and shook her head and looked again, thinking that mabye it was the vodka. "H-hey Alex." she stammered out giving him a little wave and the ghost of a smile. As fast and the smile appeared it disappeared as she grabbed for the bottle and took another sip before sitting it down and pushing it away from her. Goddamn, it was like the vodka was addicted to her or something.

Ari had always struggled with alcohol from the day she had had her first drink. It always blurred everything up and made everything seem calmer, less sharp and painful. Which could bee a good or bad thing. Right now, it was just an addiction thing.

She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around herself, looking in front of her for a little. "S-so what's up with you?" Ari asked him, not looking at him or turning his way. She didn't want him to smell the alcohol on her breath, or see her puffy and tear-stained face.

[`alex weathers]

"Not your fault." he shrugged, rolling his eyes at himself. He didn't really care if he fell on his face, maybe the next one would kill him. He just wanted to take back that one night, those drinks. If only....

He stood up and brushed himself off before taking a seat next to Ari. "Nothing. Well, something. But nothing, really." he rambled. He didn't even know if he was making sense, but he didn't care. Because at the precise moment, he saw a bottle of vodka. Licking his lips and eying it, he grabbed it and took a swig, without thinking, before letting out a laugh that echoed through the streets. "We really are a lot alike." he said bitterly to himself. "We finally meet, with the company of vodka."

"How is life treating you, Ari dear ?" he said, swallowing his self pity. He was always better at fixing other peoples problems rather than his own. It was easy, and less painful.

[Aradia Evans]

Ari shook her head again, trying to get the buzz out of her head. She needed to talk and listen now. Finally, she looked over at Alex, her eyes still looking bloodshot in the night air. "Why don't you tell me what your something is. I'm a goodd listener when I want to be." she said finally, giving him a genuine smile, trying to show him that she really did care about his well-being. She laughed, sounding a little harsh as she looked at the bottle in his hand. "My vodka's forced company." she joked. "Like, I didn't even remember picking it up."

Ari shrugged, trying to act like what was on her mind wasn't a big deal. But it was, to her. "Same old same old sort of..." she trailed off, looking straight into his eyes, which looked fearful. "Well first off I keep having these dreams." she started off. "I'm with Danny and we're ya know..." she trailed off, hoping he got the point. "And then I tell him to stop, but he won't> I can't push his off becuase he's too strong. I don't know why he's doing this becuase he said he loved me. So I ask him and he tells me that he won't because he loves me. But when he said it it sounded cruel, like he was mocking me. I scream and- I wake up." she finished.

"And second." she took a deep breath, looking away from Alex. "I saw him again, Alex. Thomas. He was here in New York." her voice broke on the last word and her lower lip began to tremble. "I never though he would.. or could..." she stopped. silence herself before she started to sound like a baby.

[`alex weathers]

Alex looked around the street at all of the parked cars and people. It wasn't a busy night, but some people were out wandering the dark streets, as always. Alex had always been scared to be out on the streets at night, but not anymore. Before Alex met Milo and Locky, he had always been very good mannered, and never disobeyed his mother. But then it turned into sneaking out for band practice, drinking and smoking, and just hanging out in general instead of doing what his mother told him. His friends had corrupted him, and he couldn't thank them enough for that. He listened to the distant honks of traffic as he rubbed his arms due to the cold breeze. He hadn't been thinking clearly when he left the caravan, and he was just now noticing that he didn't have a jacket with him. He gave a slight shudder due to the cold.

"Well, my something is one of those somethings that ruins peoples lives." he replied. He took a shaky breath. "The something that takes away what means most to me." his chest tightened, and he was surprised to find himself on the edge of crying. "I did something awful, Ari." his voice cracked and he turned his head away in shame as a few tears rolled down. "Damn." he muttered quietly. In fact, he uttered it so quietly, he wasn't sure he had even said it, but maybe just imagined it. He quickly wiped away his tears, hoping she hadn't noticed. This wasn't like him. His emotions were locked up deep inside, where they should be. Putting your feelings out there like that was utterly stupid, and he could kick himself for letting that happen with Luka. But this time, it was his own doing that messed everything up. He was clumsy and foolish.

He cleared his throat and listened in to what Ari was saying. Ari's voice soothed over Alex's pain, and it felt like it took a back seat. He problems made Alex, momentarily, forget that he had problems. Maybe it was just that big swig of vodka, but it didn't matter. It was nice.

Her dream left him speechless. He opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it. "Maybe your dreams are supposed to mean something. Like the one with Danny. Maybe that dream means that you have problems with letting people in." he said, immediately feeling stupid. "Like you know how people interpret dreams? Maybe it's one of those kinda things." he mumbled, thankful for the darks covering of his blush.

"Where?" he asked quickly. "I've always wanted to talk to him....." he trailed off in a slightly angered voice. He cared very deeply for his friends, and felt that it was his duty to protect them. He raised an arm up and gently rubbed her back in a comforting way. "He won't bother you. I promise." he offered her a smile through the darkness.

[Aradia Evans]

"It's okay." Ari said soothingly, scooting over to Alex and giving him a friendly hug. "Everyone fucks up some of the time." she shrugged and tilted her head to the side, thinking. "You should tell someone about it though. If not me, someone, because if you don't tell people what's going on you'll go to sleep one day with six different kinds of pill in your body hoping to never wake up." she took a deep breath and looked into Alex's eyes. "Trust me."

Ari's eyes narrowed slightly at him before looking out away from him at the almost deserted street. "Look at me Alex. I'm a mess. The reason I don't let people in is because I know they'll hurt me. I'm not sure If I even believe in love anymore." she paused at turned to Alex again, not letting her eyes meet his. "My parents didn't love each other, they got a divorce. The only reason my mom was even nice to me was becuase I had been a part of her for nine months. When she... died." her voice faultered on the last word and she turned away from him, her voice getting quieter. "My dad hated me. He obviously didn't love me. And then there was Thomas. He said he loved me and I fell faster than you can say 'rock bottom'. " she sighed and looked into Alex's eyes. "sorry for ranting."

"I saw him at one of those meet-and-greet things. I had gone a little ways off from the rest of them and he bumped into me. He told me that I was looking good and that I should watch my back." Ari's eyes filled with tears. ""What am I supposed to do? He knows where I am." she relaxed a little at Alex's touch and words. "But that's just it. He knows me. I haven't changed very much honestly."

[`alex weathers]

A smirk landed on his sad face as she gave him a hug. "Yes, everyone does. But I seem to be hitting the jackpot lately, dear." he said. "I'm not usually in to telling everyone my problems, Ari." he sighed. He didn't know how to word this, because anyway he said it, it sounded horrible. He would just have to be vague, and hope she understood. "I....Locky.." he took in another shaky breath. He wrapped his arms around himself, as if he would fall apart into a million pieces. "Locky and I.." he said sadly, feeling pathetic. How could one girl do this much damage? He shouldn't have let her in, he shouldn't have trusted himself. He knew that it would end up something like this, and he could have prevented it. But he chose his heart over his head, and look where he ended up. Drinking vodka on a curb in a New York street, practically falling apart. A mix of anger, frustration, and a pain that couldn't be described ran through him.

"You're not a mess..." he whispered. "If you want to see a mess, babe, you're looking at one. You're smart...You shouldn't let anyone in, because this where you will end up." he looked her in the eyes, a sad gleam in his eyes. "Parents suck, okay?" he laughed sadly. "They only disappoint, just like....love."

"You're not ranting, and I don't mind one bit. At least you listen to me when I'm not even man enough to actually say what my problems are. It's pathetic really, but you listen, y'know?" he laughed.

"He won't bother you, I promise. I promise he won't." he looked her in the eyes with a sincere look. "Cheers, eh?" he held up the bottle of vodka, his New York accent shining through, and took a swig, offering her some too.

[Aradia Evans]

Ari eyes widened as she listen to Alex attempt to say his problem. "You and Locky... oh no." she said finally, looking away from him and up into the night sky, thinking. "That's bad, Alex. Real bad." she looked back at him and shrugged gently. "But it's in the past. Somethings are meant to be and some aren't. And sometimes..." she paused and smiled. "And in your case, people are meant for each other, they just have to fight for it." Ari had never thought that anything would happen to Luka and Alex. "And I mean both you and your girl have to fight." she added, giving him a little smirk.

"I learned from expirience, Alex." Ari replied bitterly, shaking her head. "Last time I let some asshole in, i got raped. Twice." she paused and took a shaky breath. "At least you found someone that makes you happy. Someone to say the she loves you and means it. Who will probably forgive you for a tiny affair. Someone that will always put a smile on your face when he-" she stopped speaking and waited in the silence. "when he's around, even when you're just thinking about him." she continued quietly.

Ari shrugged and smiled at him. "I'm crossing my fingers on that." she replied about Thomas. "I feel so stupid everytime I think about him." she grinned a few moments later and wrapped her fingers around the bottle of vodka, pulling it to her lips and letting the liquid run down her throat. She gave a satisfying sigh as she passed the bottle back to Alex. "Cheers."