are you catching my drift yet? Jun 20, 2008 0:37:11 GMT -5
Post by locky hartlet, on Jun 20, 2008 0:37:11 GMT -5
we've been through this, it happens every time.[/center]
Locky didn't really even like beaches. There were millions of excuses he made up to get himself out of going to the beach; they were always too crowded or too hot or too dirty or too gross. But the real reason he wasn't particularly fond of beaches was because he just wasn't really all that great of a swimmer, and so it was slightly embarrassing - it might not seem like much of a big deal to you, but to a twenty year old bass player in a pretty big band with a countless number of tattoos and black messy hair, it was a big deal. The point is, Locky just didn't swim, and he didn't come to beaches. That was it, no questions asked.[/size]
The exception seemed to be tonight, however. No, Locky wasn't planning on going for a late night swim or going skinny dipping or something just as odd and out of character. He was just going to the beach because he couldn't think straight tonight, let alone sleep, and plus it was the only place in this town he was really sure wouldn't be swarmed with people staring at him or asking for a picture. Locky just needed a place to think, because lately his head had been full of a million thoughts every second of every day and it was just a bit overwhelming and kind of scary. It was becoming difficult to think about anything, music or his friends or his band mates or even writing. All he could think about was... he didn't like to admit it. The things that came out of his mouth contradicted his real thoughts so much more than half of the time, and if anyone knew what was really going through his head they would know he was a big liar.
Katy was still a big part of Locky's life, despite the fact that he hadn't seen nor spoken to her in quite a few weeks. She was still a part of his life simply because she was constantly being mentioned in casual conversation, her face was all over the internet, their names were still associated with each other on blogs, and then there was the fact that she was haunting Locky's troubled head like a ghost. It was Katy that Locky was always thinking about, it was Katy that had him so distracted and worried and upset. He was good at hiding it, however; almost too good. He really was excellent at making it seem like he really and truly hated every bit and piece of her. He was great at avoiding her when they were in the same room together. He was good at making it seem like she hadn't crossed his mind in ages. But it was all an act, of course. It was a lie. Locky did not and simply could not hate Katy, no matter how much he might want to or how much he should. She was such a big part of him and to be honest it was Katy that controlled his emotions three quarters of the time; she had the power to make him the happiest boy around or absolutely miserable. He was constantly in her hands, and as much as he hated to admit it, it was true.
And it really sucked because he honestly felt that she didn't care about him at all anymore. She had tried to tell him otherwise, but it really just sounded like a load of shit to him. She'd slept with his best friend, this much was obvious and the thought of it made him want to vomit; after all he had done for her, she had the nerve to hurt him as badly as she did. And the worse part was the fact that Locky just knew that she hadn't stopped there. He had heard the rumors of her being a whore and now he had no choice but to believe them. She had been sleeping around, he was sure. It just hurt. She didn't want to make love to him, but she'd gladly go fuck any guy who was willing. It made him feel a little bit less than worthless.
Locky sat down on the dry sand closest to the water, laying down on his back almost immediately. He wasn't really here for the view of the ocean anyway. He just needed space and time to clear his head. His emerald eyes stared up at the night time sky and he knew that this had to end. It was coming to the point that he was wondering if what he felt for Katy was almost an obsession; she was what was in his head when he laid in bed, when he woke up, when he played shows, when he watched movies, when he did anything. He was in love with her, despite all of the nasty things he'd been saying about her recently. But it needed to end. He couldn't keep thinking about her like this. She wasn't for him and she didn't want a serious relationship with him, like he wanted with her. It was time to move on, he decided as he let his lids close. It would be hard but he knew that if enough time passed, it wouldn't hurt quite as much to think of her and know that she wasn't his anymore. It would just time time. That's all. Locky sighed.for, katarina peterson of course!
outfit, hehe click
status, finished! at last
notes, yay :] sorry for all the mega rambling in this, hehe. ily.