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Post by alex midnight on Jun 20, 2008 0:24:29 GMT -5
As Alex began to walk away he heard Aidan call out to him. He turned around a bit to hear exactly what he was saying. “Bring me back something,” he told Alex.
Aidan must have known that he was going to get high. And he really didn't want him to know. And Alex really didn't want to go get high right after they just got everything solved. He felt bad. But he had been in withdraw for a week. And he didn't know if he would be able to take it any longer. And he didnt know what would happen to him if he did wait any longer.
Once he was done with his dealer, he was feeling a lot better. And he got some to take for him and Aidan later. This was the first time he was ever this high, he was stumbling while he was walking. And was trying to remember the way back to the sighted south caravan.
As he stumbled his way through alley's he went to his small motel room to change, and snort a few more lines. As he got inside, he looked through all his clothes and picked out his denim skinny jeans and his Brokencyde tight fitted t-shirt. Once he was changed he sat down on his bed, making 3 more lines on his bedside table. He found a small straw in the drawer and began to snort them up his nose.
Once he was done. He cleaned up the left over powder, and threw away the straw. he decided to re-straighten his hair - which wasnt too good of an idea. He began to straighten it, and by the time he was done he ha burnt his hand several times. But he did an okay job - even if he was high off his ass.
He finally made it to the caravan. He didn't know if he should just walk in or knock. He decided to just walk in. And as he did so, he walked in, not seeing anyone around. He walked in, shutting the door behind him. He sat down on the couch, looking around, trying to see if anyone was inside. "Aidan?" he called out.
Once he realized it, he noticed that it was the same couch that everything happened on. He didnt want to remember that fight right now. But it was a little bit hard to. He looked down at his arms, realizing how much everything messed him up.
As he sat there, waiting to see if anyone was around, he wondered if Aidan would be mad at him for being so high. And Alex was going to try and explain it. But he doubted he could, he really couldnt think at all right now. All he wanted was to be with Aidan. But would he be mad? He might. But hopfully he would get over it. All of the sudden he felt the insane need to bust out laughing, and he almost did, but tried to hold it in as much as he could while he waited for Aidan to turn up.
He thought he heard someone in the other room but decided to wait for them to show themselves, so if in case it wasnt Aidan that wouldn't see how hard it was for him to walk, and so he wouldnt be so jumpy and giggly. |
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aidan cooper
bass [/size][/font]
Music is what feelings sound like
Posts: 144
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Post by aidan cooper on Jun 20, 2008 23:00:25 GMT -5
   People think that I must be a very strange person. This is not correct.
I have the heart of a small boy. It is in a glass jar on my desk. _____________
Aidan went back to the caravan that he pretty much called home (it was all he had after all and he considered it home even in his broken up heart) hurriedly after leaving Alex in the park/ He figured the boy would probably be high when he met Aidan at the caravan (he knew the kid was getting drugs and after not having anything for a week, chances were he wasn’t going to wait for Aidan to get high off his ass) and so Aidan wanted to prepare. He gave Gabe a quick run down of things and the boy was so glad that Aidan was smiling and socializing that he vacated the caravan quickly and promised to take care of everyone else and so Alex and him would have the caravan for a few hours at least. They’d all be sleeping here, the band, but whatever. Alex and him might be passed out by then and it wasn’t like the rest of the band wouldn’t be happy for Aidan. They worried about him a lot, and not without reason. They’d be glad for Alex.
So after the threat of his band members walking in on him was gone he made sure any sharp objects either of them could get into were all packed away. Beer was pulled out of the fridges and placed on the counter; the caravan was tidied up a little bit. he wasn’t really panning anything, just to see Alex again, hold him, kiss him, get high, get drunk, something. Even though such things hadn’t worked out so well last time… well maybe this time would be different. He was feeling crazy giddy and escaped to his bunk to lay down for a minute.
After a few moments he heard shuffling around in the next room and he struggled to get himself together, pull his shirt down, stuff like that. He heard his name and after a few moment pause went out into the main room, seeing Alex there, crazy high, looking like he was about to burst out giggling or something. Aidan had a little smile on his face as he stood in the doorway, watching Alex who hadn’t seen him yet. Before he could put any real thought into it he crossed over to the couch and bent down, cupping Alex’s cheek in a fluid motion and kissing him deeply, containing himself enough so that he didn’t just crawl on top of the boy or something. he doubted Alex would object, but still.
After breaking the kiss Aidan plopped down on the sofa next to Alex, wrapping an arm around the boy. “Hey,” Aidan said happily, smiling and being silly and nervous and everything. He wasn’t used to this and it was exactly easy. He was afraid of messing up again, terribly. He figured he’d get a read on how high Alex really was and then… well whatever. They could do whatever.
(sorry for the suckishness) [/blockquote]
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Post by alex midnight on Jun 22, 2008 6:01:38 GMT -5
When Alex showed up in the caravan, he expected to see some of Aidan's other band members. And was surprised when he saw no one while walking in. He figured at least Aidan would have been waiting for him. But as he sat on the couch waiting for someone to notice he was there, he looked around. If it was someone other than Aidan who found him sitting there, he didn't want to get in trouble. Because they would more than likely know and see that he was high. And he didnt feel like getting in trouble tonight.
It looked like Aidan had came home to clean a bit, because when he walked in he noticed it was actually really clean. Not that he figured it would be messy. But usually people either didn't have the time to clean. Either that or they just didn't want too. He noticed the beer sitting out on the counter, and wondered if he was going to be able to handle being both high off his ass, and drunk. He didn't know if he was ready for both around Aidan. He was always going to watch what he said around him now. And would try not to show his feeling all that much. He didn't really feel like being kicked out again for doing something wrong.
As Alex sat there, out of no where, all of the sudden Aidan walked over to the couch and cupped Alex's cheek, and kissing him. Alex jumped, Aidan scared the shit out of him. He didn't even realize he entered the room.
Aidan broke the kiss, sitting down beside Alex. Aidan wrapped his arm around Alex. “Hey, Aidan said, cleary in a good, and happy mood. He smiled, and Alex looked over to him. He really didn't want to mess up again. The whole week that they were apart really hurt him. and now he was back to his old self - which didn't please him too much.
Alex just didn't want Aidan to be mad at him for going and getting high as soon as they talked everything out. But Alex really did need to get high. The whole week without it almost killed him. He found himself not feeling good the whole week. And stayed away from a lot of people - not wanting to deal with everyone's shit.
(Sorry it sucks >_<)
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aidan cooper
bass [/size][/font]
Music is what feelings sound like
Posts: 144
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Post by aidan cooper on Jun 23, 2008 1:31:02 GMT -5
People think that I must be a very strange person. This is not correct. I have the heart of a small boy. It is in a glass jar on my desk. _____________
Aidan wasn’t really planning this out, he was making it up as he went along, which was odd for him in the general scheme of things and yet that was what he was doing last time he and Alex were together on this caravan. That hadn’t turned out so well, maybe this would turn out better. Aida really hoped so. He didn’t think he could deal with another week like that. But he was fixing it now, wasn’t he. This would be a better day, maybe he’d stay sober, talk care of Alex until the fell asleep or whatever, passed out, whatever. He just… he didn’t know. But he wanted this kid, he wanted Alex, he couldn’t deny that. The boy was warm in his arms, nice and comforting and… it was good.
He was taking this well, Aidan, all this rapid emotionally switching up. he was going with it quite nicely which was moderately remarkable because he tended to avoid change as much as possible, sticking with what he knew for fear of the unknown. And Alex, what the kid could bring, it was pretty frightening. But he was tired of that, he wanted to chance this feeling he had with Alex, this good feeling. he looked at the boy, just looked at him, that same little smile on his face. The kid was high, but Aidan knew that and, well he was okay with it. He was still just… amazing looking and bordering on wonderful. Where the hell did Aidan get all sappy minded.
Aidan wasn’t mad. He had gone through way to much emotionally in the past hour or so to be mad. He really just wanted to pull Alex into his lap. So that was what he did. He was operating rather selfishly, but he didn’t think Alex cared because it benefited him as well. So he tugged Alex foreword, settling the smaller boy in his lap and squeezing. If only the band could see him like this, happy and affectionate like he never was. They’d adore Alex for this. Aidan buried his face in Alex’s neck, wrapping his arms firmly around the boy.
“How high are you,” he said, good naturedly, pulling back to look Alex in the face. He look more amused then anything else, not upset at all. He got the addiction, even if it wasn’t form first hand experience. And really he didn’t care, not at this point, not when he had this boy in his lap. Really all he cared about was kissing him, holding him, something of that nature. What did if matter if the boy was high as a kite. He seemed generally more goofy that way and it was kind of sweet. [/blockquote] |
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Post by alex midnight on Jun 23, 2008 11:37:45 GMT -5
Alex didn't know if Aidan had anything planned for the night. He really didn't know what would happen. But if anything did, he didn't want it to be bad. He didn't feel like getting kicked out again. He couldn't take another week like the one he had. Because that whole week led to cutting and not doing any drugs at all. And that is the reason he was as high as he was right now. And he regreted it. He just wished he would have kept his mouth shut that night.
Alex was sure he could once again, gain trust in Aidan, even though last time he did that he got kicked out. He just hoped Aidan could trust him. Because if he didn't he could see their relationship taking off and ending as soon as it began. He just knew it was going to happen, and he wasnt wanting it too. And didn't really want to take a risk of getting hurt again. Because it could happen so easily.
Aidan pulled Alex into his lap, which was unexpected, making Alex jump a bit. He was really jumpy tonight, and he didn't like it. Anything could make him jump. And he hoped none of Aidan's bandmates walked in the door, because that would make him really jump and then he would probably have a panic attack like he usually did when around new people, or if he was taken off guard and scared. Alex moved in Aidan's lap so that Alex was now stradelling Aidan.
Aidan buried his face in Alex's neck, and wrapped his arms around him. Alex let him do this, wrapping his arms around Aidan as well. “How high are you,” he asked Alex, pulling back from his neck to look Alex in the face. Damnit why did he have to ask that question. He didn't want him getting mad.
"Lets just say, out of my whole life using this would be the highest i have ever been..." he said, frowning. "Your not mad are you? I mean i had too, i was a whole week without anything... I feel like an ass going and getting high right after we sorted everything out..." he said, a frown still across his face.
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aidan cooper
bass [/size][/font]
Music is what feelings sound like
Posts: 144
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Post by aidan cooper on Jun 23, 2008 22:33:33 GMT -5
People think that I must be a very strange person. This is not correct. I have the heart of a small boy. It is in a glass jar on my desk. _____________
Aidan still didn’t trust people really, hardly anyone ever gave him a reason too. he trusted his band mates to a certain extent because… well Gabe had saved him and the rest of them. They earned it with their silent acceptance and their watching him and all that sort of stuff. He didn’t trust them completely, he trusted no one completely, not even himself. Perhaps that would change, perhaps Alex would change that. Maybe. Maybe not. Aidan wasn’t thinking about this. He was trying to focus on the good feeling that he hardly ever felt because that’s where he wanted to live right now.
Alex resituated himself so he was straddling Aidan’s lap and Aidan was quite happy with that. It made it easier to look at Alex’s face, easier to hang onto him, easier to kiss him even. Aidan was content right now, a feeling he almost never had, especially like this. He was happy even, holding this boy in his arms. Perhaps that was much to do with the fact that he had just gone through a horrible week without this boy, after having kicked this boy out. He wouldn’t make that mistake again.
He should trust Alex, he should and on some level he knew that but he was still pretty terrified. Their relationship wasn’t even defined and Aidan didn’t know what they were officially, or unofficially. Weather they were dating or if they were just some kind of friends with benefits, he didn’t know. He didn’t want to think about it either, least he shatter the moment. He’d just rather stay here and have his hopes.
The boy was talking and he started to putter out, letting his explanation just hang there and Aidan moved his hands up, holding Alex’s face there, gently, smiling lightly and for real. “I’m not mad,” he said softly and he wasn’t. Alex’s life, his death, his choice, his whatever. He didn’t say any of that but… well no he wasn’t angry. “It’s okay,” he continued and it was okay.
Aidan then pulled Alex’s face forward a bit, kissing him again, coaxing the boy’s lips open and kissing him deeply. God his missed this, he really did, even though he had experienced it only on one occasion before. An occasion whose ending he did not want to repeat. he couldn’t go through that again. He just wanted to kiss this boy and hang on forever. [/blockquote] |
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Post by alex midnight on Jun 23, 2008 23:04:49 GMT -5
Alex knew Aidan probably couldn't trust him. And that was okay - for now. He just wanted for one day Aidan be able to come out and trust him. Alex knew he could trust him, at least he hoped he could. But it still would be hard since he was kicked out. But Alex was was used to being tossed aside, like he didn't matter to anyone. But he hoped he mattered to Aidan. Because he seriously could see him not trusting Alex ruining them.
What did they even have anyway? He found him asking himself this. They weren't dating, at least he didn't think they were. And he really hoped they could be together. He wanted to ask Aidan, but he didn't want to ruin everything. He didn't feel like repeating what happened a week ago. He really didnt even want to think about it.
Alex was happy being here with Aidan, he was happy that everything worked out. All he wanted to do was hold him. He really did like him. And he figured that Aidan probably thought Alex was only maybe a friend with benefits. And he really didn't want to be just a friend. Alex was happy that he decided to resituate himself, because it made it easier for both of them. It made it easier to see Aidan, and for them to hold eachother.
Alex knew Aidan thought he should trust Alex, he just couldnt. And thats what made him unhappy. He hated the feeling of not being trusted by Aidan. And this was really the first time he had felt this way for anyone. And he liked the feeling.
As Alex began to talk about his high, Aidan brought his hands up, holding Alex's face gently. This was one of the first times he had ever seen Aidan smile - for real. He had such a nice smile, he loved it. “I’m not mad,” - - - “It’s okay,” he continued. And he hoped it really was okay. He didn't want Aidan getting mad at him.
Alex's face was then pulled down to Aidan's. Aidan took Alex's lips within his own. Aidan coaxed Alex's lips open, kissing him deeper. And Alex allowed it, he kissed him back, making it a little deeper.
Alex broke the kiss, looking down at Aidan and smiling. "Im going to try and stop the whole drug thing for you... its not good for me anyway." he said, looking into his eyes. Alex decided that he was going to ask Aidan the question - if he would go out with him. "Aidan i have a question too ask you.... but i dont want you to get all freaked out like last time - and it all happen again. Cause i wont be able to take that again..." |
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