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Post by jordyn tevye on May 28, 2008 21:11:57 GMT -5
Jordyn gave her hair a final touch and then placed her hands over top of Alex's while looking at him in the mirror. Help. Everyone always said that help was a good thing. Not rehab. Rehab was not fun. She never wanted to be there, never really wanted to get clean and that was mostly why she had never suceeded but then there was also the fact that they controlled everything about you there. Jordyn couldn't live like that.
"Well, the help obviously didnt help that much. I'm still here, still addicted. So what?" She didn't really think that rehab would or could help her because internally she knew she didn't want to stop. She liked the way she felt when she got high, when she did drugs. And nothing had really scared her out of it yet.
Jordyn felt the heat of Alex's breath against her ear and turned her face towards him to hear him better but just ended up rolling her eyes. "Yeah, well, everyone always seems to need something You just need security." She wasn't as angry as she had been before but she still pushed out of his arms and started walking back into the bedroom, peeling off her oversized tshirt to reveal a brief tank top underneath, and flopped down onto the bed. |
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Post by alex midnight on May 28, 2008 21:40:46 GMT -5
   Tell me why I feel so alone ______________ As Jordyn, messed with her hair once more, she placed her hands ontop of Alex's. She looked at him through the mirror. He really didnt know what to do, he was really never good at this kind of stuff, and didnt want to piss her off even more, but she would get over it, no once could really stay pissed at Alex for too long.
"Well, the help obviously didnt help that much. I'm still here, still addicted. So what?" she said, clearly annoyed with him. Which was bugging Alex, he really wasnt doing anything wrong.
As Alex whispered in her ear, she turned her head to look at him, and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, everyone always seems to need something You just need security." she said, taking herself out of his hold and walking back into the bedroom, taking off her shirt, now wearing a tank top.
Alex followed her. "I can tell i am pissing you off..." he said, sitting beside her. "Do you just want me to leave?" he asked her. |
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Post by jordyn tevye on May 28, 2008 21:51:17 GMT -5
Jordyn rolled onto her back on the bed and stretched out her arms to lie behind her head in a pillow like structure. She looked at him and sighed. Did she want him to go? No. Not really. He looked sweet and she could tell that he wasn't really doing anything wrong, that she was just being difficult. In reality, she was jsut a little hurt that he hadn't wanted to sleep with her. She felt unattractive but she did have a sense of where he was coming from. It wasn't like they really liked eachother, there was only a bit of attraction. In reality, it really was a stupid idea sleeping with anyone when you didn't really know them. But that didn't mean that she wanted him to go completely. No. After telling him about herself and her knowing about him, Jordyn felt like she knew Alex. Like they were actually friends and she wanted to just kind of be here with him or someone. Besides, she need a few friends here, if she was going to survive here, out in this cold and dark nasty world, it would be best if she networked a little bit. Hung out with the right crowd, the ones with street smarts. Alex seemed good enough.
Sitting up slightly, she shook her head. "No, stay. Hey, you wanna smoke?" She was thinking of pot right now. It would help her come down more easily. Perhaps calm her before she slept. "It cushions the fall, if you know what I mean. " After being on crack for a long while, she'd learned that having a softer drug to bridge the high and low was necessary. She opened the drawer of the little table next to the bed and pulled out a joint, lighting it right away and leaning back on the pillows. After she took a few drags, she held it out a little bit. |
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Post by alex midnight on Jun 7, 2008 10:36:38 GMT -5
Tell me why I feel so alone ______________
As they came out of the bathroom she layed down, rolling on her back, and stretched her arms out, putting them behind her head. He sat down beside her, not knowing her answer as to if she wanted him too leave. As he did this she sat up a bit and shook her head. "No, stay. Hey, you wanna smoke?" she said to him. "It cushions the fall, if you know what I mean. " she said, opening a drawer to the table beside her bed, pulling out a joint and lighting it. She took a few drags and leaned back on a pillow. She held it out too him.
Why not get high with her? It couldnt hurt, and its not like he was going to do anything with her if he got high, right? He really didnt want too. And if he didnt want to he wouldnt. So he took the joint from her. He took a few drags from it, just like she did, and held it back out to her, holding in the smoke as long as he could. He let it out, coughing a bit. "So why were you mad earlier? You seemed annoyed by me... did i do anything wrong?" he asked, looking at her, and moving closer to her. |
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Post by jordyn tevye on Jun 7, 2008 13:19:31 GMT -5
Jordyn watched Alex as he smoked. He didn't seem to know really what he was doing. Didn't he get high, often? Everyone did now a days. It was a part of life. Eat, drink tons, get high, and then hit the floor. She took the joint back, taking another drag and eyeing Alex as he moved closer to her and asked her some questions.
"You lead me on, then decided that you didn't want to do anything with me. Of course I was a little annoyed but whatever, it's over now." SHe'd kind of gotten over it and she still hoped that Alex could serve some kind of purpose in her life.
Taking another drag on the joint, she started to feel the drugworking on her and sighed. She knew that it would be easier to fall asleep and she wouldnt' feel as crappy in the morning. Things seemed a little better now. |
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Post by alex midnight on Jun 15, 2008 17:51:35 GMT -5
Tell me why I feel so alone ______________ As Alex took a few hits off the joint, he saw that Jordyn was watching him which made him nervous. He already got nervous enough being around people, but she was making it worse by watching him. She must have thought he didnt know what he was doing. Which he did but he couldnt do it around her, while she watched. Plus he didnt like to smoke pot too much, it wasnt to hardcore. He liked cocaine, and stuff like that.
As she took a hit off the joint, he moved closer to her, asking why she was mad earlier. "You lead me on, then decided that you didn't want to do anything with me. Of course I was a little annoyed but whatever, it's over now." she said.
Alex didnt really remember when he had led her on. Did he even? If he did, he didnt mean it. Its just he had trust issues, and he just met this girl. "I dont exactly remember leading you on.... but if i did, sorry... just that i have trust issues, and i kinda just met you..." he said, looking at the floor.
He didnt want her too be mad, she really was a pretty girl. He just didnt know if she could be trusted. But she hasnt gave him a reason not too trust her yet, so its okay - so far. |
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Post by jordyn tevye on Jun 16, 2008 10:21:55 GMT -5
Jordyn looked at him ponderingly. He had trust issues... aw, was that supposed to make her feel bad for him? Probably. She knew that a lot of guys tried to pay the sympathy card so that she would warm up to them, take them for a ride. But maybe this was different. Or maybe not. She took the joint, finished it off and threw the small remains into the ashtray on the bedside table.
"So you have trust issues, huh?" Jordyn said, raising her eyebrows. What could have happened to this poor guy to make him be so messed up? Of course, a lot of people asked the same question about her, so she was used to it. "I never really asked you to trust me, if you think abouy. Just to have sex with me. They're different, but whatever. It's fine."
She lay back, feeling the high calm her just slightly. Jordyn didn't really know what to do with guys in a casual setting. She wasn't good at having friends. She'd never really had one before. Not one with out benefits. She looked over at Alex again as if to say, what now? |
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Post by alex midnight on Jun 16, 2008 10:45:22 GMT -5
Tell me why I feel so alone ______________ Alex knew that Jordyn was probably thiking he said he had trust issues so she would feel bad for him. But that wasnt the case, he really did have trust issues. He wouldnt lie about it. As he said all of that, she finished off the joint, and threw the remains in an ashtray beside the bed.
"So you have trust issues, huh?" she asked him, raising her eyebrow. Of course she didnt believe him. Yeah he really did have trust issues, but how could he convince her that he did? "I never really asked you to trust me, if you think abouy. Just to have sex with me. They're different, but whatever. It's fine." she said, laying back.
"Yeah i do have trust issues... and i know all you want is me to have sex with you. But i need to trust someone before i have sex with them." he said, looking over at her. As she was laying back she looked over to him with a look like she was asking what now?
Alex layed down beside her on his side so he was facing her. "Its really nothing against you... You are a very pretty girl. But i dont know if i can have sex with you until i get to know you more..." he said, looking into her eyes. |
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Post by jordyn tevye on Jun 19, 2008 19:40:09 GMT -5
Jordyn lay on her back, staring at the ceiling and sighed. A lot of guys were the same and then a lot of guys were different. Jordyn used to think that she had a pretty good idea of what guys did or didn't want but aparently she was so wrong. "Sorry... sometimes I forget that not all guys want to fuck." Though she was pretty sure that he still kind of wanted to. He just wasn't going to.
She was upset, she'd hoped that this night wasn't going to be a total bust. She wanted something good to come out of it because so far, she'd been led on then totally humiliated and didn't really know what to do with herself or him now. All she could think of was that she wanted to see someone who she could have fun of. Jordyn' version of fun was very limited. It basically came down to who would hook up with her, who thought she was so incredibly hot and would give into her.
But maybe there were other ways to have fun. And maybe Alex would show her. "Sooooooooooooooooooooo........" she said, trying to be optimistic about this entire situation. "If we're not going to hook up, what would you like to do?" Those words coming out of her mouth sounded so... foriegn. It just wasn't her. But maybe times were changing. |
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Post by alex midnight on Jun 19, 2008 19:58:01 GMT -5
Tell me why I feel so alone ______________ As Jordyn layed on her bed, Alex was asking himself what exactly he really got himself into. He knew he didnt want to do anything with her - well he did but he jsut didnt trust her. He really didnt know what exactly to do. Why did he even come over? He didnt mean to lead her on, and make her think that something was going to happen. Because that only led her into inviting him over, and he just couldnt say no. "Sorry... sometimes I forget that not all guys want to fuck."
He felt bad for making her upset, because he could tell she was. Just by the look she was giving off. And he didnt mean to make her that well, and felt horrible for doing it. "I'm Sorry.... I messed it up. I was an ass for leading you on...." he told her. And he really was sorry.
"Sooooooooooooooooooooo........" she said. "If we're not going to hook up, what would you like to do?" she asked him. He looked at her. Maybe he should just leave, all he did was make everyone mad when he was around. He always messed things up.
"Maybe i should just leave...." he said, looking at her. I feel really bad, and i cant do a thing right.... maybe its just because i get all worried i will do something wrong around girls, and try my hardest not to mess up. But i end up messing up anyway..." he said, looking away from her.
He didnt want to leave, but maybe it was best. He looked back at her. |
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Post by jordyn tevye on Jun 21, 2008 18:45:29 GMT -5
"Babe, I already said it's okay. I just don't really know what to do with you now... I mean, I just sleep with guys. I've never really... talked to one before." Maybe this would be a learning experience for both of them. Both Alex and Jordyn seemd to ave social issues, that was at elast it. She was accustome to people giving her what she wanted because she was pretty. But lately everything seemed to be going downhil.
Angel and Tristan, two very controversial not to mention influential guys had been playing incredibly hard to get and it was driving Jordyn crazy. The both seemed like they were nice guys, when you first met them, but they had made her oo and aww over them for absolutely nothing.
"You don't have to go, unless you got stuff to do. We can sit, talk, and you can tell me more about your trust issues." Everyone has a story, she'd already told him hers and heard a small bit of his but that was really it. She wondered what made him so untrusting. Who wouldn't? |
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Post by alex midnight on Jun 22, 2008 6:24:24 GMT -5
Tell me why I feel so alone ______________
"To tell you the truth... i find it really werid that all you do is have sex with guys... i mean you have never talked to a guy? Like never?" he asked her, clearly shocked. Didn't she want a relationship with a guy? Other than just having sex and them leaving her, and her probably never hearing from them again. He didn't understand why she wouldnt want someone there for her - someone to listen to her and talk to her.
She was a really pretty girl, but he was just shocked that a girl her age would be like that. What even caused her to like being that way? Was it problems in her past?
"You don't have to go, unless you got stuff to do. We can sit, talk, and you can tell me more about your trust issues." she said. "Well I don't want to go, its just i feel like im not wanted around. And i feel bad for pissing you off.... But thats all done and over with so i will leave that go." he said, looking at her.
Did he really even want to talk about why he had trust issues? He really didnt want to remember his mother - how much of a bitch she was - but at least she was actually trying to talk to him.
"Well pretty much the whole reason was because of my mother... I used to live back in England, and my mother pretty much hated meand my father left when i was born. And i was ignored the whole time i was growing up. And i was picked on horribly and pushed away by everyone." he said, looking over and seeing that she was paying attention. "I had barley any friends, and i made it even worse by coming out and telling everyon that i was bisexual. So my mother hated me even more, and i got picked on even worse. So then i moved in with my grandmother to help her out, and to get away from my bitch of a mother. And then shortly after i moved in with her she was diagnosed with Cancer and she died. So then i really had no one. And i was sent back with my mother. And then i was always getting in trouble because i started getting into drugs and alcohol, so i was in trouble with police and my mother." he said, looking down to the floor.
"And the funny thing is i was always getting in trouble because when i got myself in even more deep, my mom actually payed attention to me. So the more i got in trouble she would get all pissed and yell at me, and it felt good to actually be noticed. So i decided it was better to be yelled at then ignored." he was still looking at the floor. "So now that that's all said... i want to hear more about you." he said looking up at her. |
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