none of us are angels __+Milo]

[milo martin]

What the hell was the matter with him? He wasn’t quite sure. It was as if some sort of demon had entered him and he was fueling his sadness into some other queue as opposed to alcohol. Contact, he craved it. He had felt so utterly lost and abandoned and betrayed. He needed to feel something. Amy was right there under his nose the whole time. Why did he even bother looking elsewhere, let alone a rival band?

He needed to forget everything that had happened. For once without alcohol clouding his brain, he was thinking clearly. This – being with Amy – is what he wanted. At least, for right now. Forget Katherine. If she wanted Ronnie instead of him, so be it. He could get over her just as quickly.

He was pleased that his kisses were received so well. Her lips against his once more, after five years, was bliss. He kissed her harder, deeper, with more urgency. He left himself completely, his mind blank. His hands were at her hips, bringing her close to him. He wanted her again.

[amethyst hartlet]

There had been only one other time Amy could remember Milo kissing her like this. Without the randomness, mind. Just the urgency and the force of the kiss. It was a couple months after they'd started dating and they were young. Milo had wanted to sleep with her but Amy said no. He had respected that and backed off a little. That kind of thing was important to Amy and she would just prefer to wait until she knew she found the right one. Yeah she was one of those old fashion girls, which surprised a lot of people, what with her tattoos and everything. But still... to this day Amy was a virgin. Not that was common knowledge, but hey, it wasn't anyone's business.

These memories snapped Amy's brain back into working mode and she tensed a little, feeling his hands on her hips. As much as she enjoyed being close to Milo, this could only end badly. She couldn't quite bring herself to pull away though. Not yet... she told herself he would probably remember and it wouldn't end up going that far. If it started to she could always back out later, when she was sure thats where he was going. She was all confused... this really wasn't fair... or good for her mental state.

[milo martin]

Milo moved his kisses from Amy’s lips to her neck, kissing below her ears and nibbling on her earlobe. He wanted to convince her, persuade her. It was wrong and he knew it. He was momentarily disgusted by himself, going through lovers and sexual partners like tissues now. It was horrible.

“Amy,” he said between kisses, “I miss the good old days. The days with you.”

He nibbled her lower lip, then her upper lip before slipping his tongue into her mouth. He had never been this hedonistic before, and never with Amy. Their love had been so fresh and new at the time – they had never gone passed second base. Amy had always deterred him from going any farther. But now, they were older and wiser. He might have been in love with Katherine, but she didn’t want him anymore, and Milo couldn’t handle being alone.

“Amy, I want you…”

[amethyst hartlet]

Thekisseson her neck tickled as she shifted slightly, making a face. What in the world was going on? Whatever it was, it couldn't be good.

"Milo --" Amy was extremely uncomfortable with this but was interrupted by his tongue in her mouth. Yet he was pulling the "good old days" thing on her. That was not fair. She wanted to let Milo do this but she knew it was wrong. Every ounce of her being knew it was wrong, her skin was crawling with goose bumps and her chest felt like somebody had just dropped an anvil on it. She couldn't breathe, let alone speak, she made a hopeless whimpering sound as she tried to turn her head away from him. "Stop" she pleaded when he finally stopped kissing her to speak. Well at least he had come right out and said it, no beating around the bush. Psh. It did not help things in the least.

She didn't know what was going on with Milo but she wished he would just tell her as apposed to trying to get into her pants. That was not the way to go and at that moment Amy realized that if he did try, she would have no choice... if he sunk that low it would have a lot of different consequences. For one, Amy would probably lose her mind. But maybe she'd finally get over him if he was going to disrespect everything he knew she believed in and stood for.

[milo martin]

Milo panted, out of breath and heated from the kissing. “Stop? Why stop?” he asked. “You said…you missed the good old days. You and me. This was us, back then.”

He kissed her once more, slipping his hands up her shirt, her skin was warm and soft. He couldn’t stop himself, it was a disgusting compulsion. Sex, sex, sex – that’s all he wanted and needed right now.

The contact between their bodies did not falter Milo in the slightest. She began to struggle with him a little, making soft sounds of protest. He did not want to rape her, that’s not how he operated. Things were getting out of hand quickly and Milo did not know how to stop it.

[amethyst hartlet]

"I mean it Milo," All her muscles tensed under this new intrusion. "Just stop..." Amy's heart was racing to the point she thought it might explode and she couldn't breathe very well at all. She had to do something. Because she was starting to realize he wasn't going to stop. She would give him one more chance. "This wasn't us. You know how I am." She argued, trying not to make her struggle for breath too loud. Tears were welling up behind her eyes. Milo couldn't do this to her... not her Milo... the one she'd known and loved for sooo long... a ridiculously long time at that. "What about..." she struggled a little, grimacing slightly "What about her... that girl you told me about? Huh... what about her?" she took a few deep breaths, trying to calm her pounding heart.

[milo martin]

“That’s over now,” he said under his breath as he kissed her again and again, nipping her lips, not even trying to be gentle. “I missed you, Ames. I missed you so goddamn much…”

He was holding her down, his hips pressed against hers, his hands around her wrists. This was so wrong. He knew how wrong this was. It wasn’t fair to Amy. He didn’t want to hurt her but he knew he was anyway. But lust clouded his mind and his actions. He was drunk – not on alcohol but on power.

“Amy…Amy…why can’t you love me?” he whispered to her. “I loved you so much. You broke my heart. What was wrong?”

[amethyst hartlet]

When he took hold her wrists thats when Amy began to really panic. She'd given him one more chance and he obviously wasn't going to take it. Amy realized she was crying as she jerked her head away from him. Her stomach was twisting into knots, not the good kind either. The "Oh God, my best friend is about to rape me" kind. Not fun. "MILO STOP IT!" She screamed finally at the top of her lungs, her voice raw from fear and crying "JUST STOP IT!" And she started kicking and squirming. He had a hold of her wrists but not her legs and those were still quite mobile once she remembered they were there. Milo was quickly unraveling almost ten years of trust, friendship and love and it was tearing Amy apart. She felt like a part of her was dying. As the adrenalin pumped through her little body she began to struggle against him more violently. Maybe he was stronger but she had the adrenalin on her side. Amy had once heard of a man who had lifted up a car because the girl he loved was trapped underneath it, thanks to adrenalin. She didnt exactly need to lift a car, just get Milo off of her so she could run. Thats all she wanted to do, run away. She would have to tell somebody... she hated Milo for this, and it broke her heart.

It was all happening so fast, Amy couldnt even see what with her terror, her crying and all the adrenalin and what not. She couldnt take it anymore.

[milo martin]

It did happen fast. Milo didn't realize what he was doing until Amy screamed and then began to kick and struggle. One of her kicks hit him in the thigh, the other, his knee. It wasn't until then that he had, finally, a moment of clarity.

He stopped. He looked down at her, her ees wide with terror and fear, and he gasped inwardly at himself. He rolled off of her, onto the floor, breathing heavily, his heart pounding so hard against his chest he feared it might give out on him and he would die right there on the caravan floor.

What was he doing? Amy, lovely Amy, his best friend and companion and sometimes lover since he was fifteen years old - and this was how he treated her, like some stupid whore? He was disgusted with himself. He tried to control his heavy breathing so that it wouldn't morph into sobs.

"...I'm sorry," he whispered, staring up at the cieling. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry...Amy, I'm sorry..."

[ooc: sorry this took me so long to reply to - i'm on vacation >.<]

[amethyst hartlet]

Well at least he realized what he was doing. Too bad it was already too late. The damage had been done... Not as much as if he had actually gone through with his intentions but still... a lot of damage had been done. When he finally let her go and got off of her, she took a few seconds to try and catch her breath before she got up, picking up her notebook and her pen. Amy couldn't even look at him as he apologized and she just shook her head, tears still running down her face as she quickly left the room and the caravan. It was a little late for "I'm sorries". Amy wiped her eyes so she could see where she was going as she shoved past people milling about. If she kept her head bent she almost looked like just another person but she had to get out of there fast before people started to notice who she was. This was an emergency... she had to get away before she did anything she might regret later. Luckily enough she got out of the main flow of people, tech guys, merchers, other band members... and she took off at a run. Now her only concern was that there would be glass or something in the grass and she would slice her feet open.. she hadn't thought to put shoes on, she was rather distracted at the time.

((lol, thats okay ^_^ want to do a new thread maybe with will? they need some bonding time, lol

if you wanna, i made a thread in the park))

[milo martin]

Before Milo could sit up, Amy was out the door. He couldn't believe what an asshole he had been. Amy was one of the most important people in his life and he had no doubt broken some bond of trust.

"Wait!" Milo sputtered. "Amy, wait!" He scrambled up and darted out the door after her. "Amy! Come on - I-I'm sorry, okay?! Amy, please!"

He had his eye on her. She had a hell of a head start, but he could clearly spot her pale skin and dark hair in the throng. The only people who were milling about now were the people involved with the festival. He ducked, bobbed and weaved through the crowd, trying to atch up with her.

"AMY! Please! Please come back!" he called out to her. His long appendages were often mistaken for graceful, but they would often trip him up instead. This was such the case right now, and he wasn't one hundred percent sober, either - he was more hungover than anything, and this, paired with his gangly limbs and big feet, did not make for a fluent stride.

[amethyst hartlet]

((or not x3 i dont care, lol))

Amy wanted nothing to do with Milo right now. He'd smashed every ounce of respect she had for him and tainted years of memories. Maybe one day she'd forgive him but it had just happened and she was quite upset. She just wanted to be away from everything for a little while. So despite his calls and apologies she kept going, taking off at a run as soon as the people thinned out. She knew how clumsy he was, she'd only known him forever. So if she ran fast enough maybe he would give up and just leave her alone. That was all she really wanted - was to be alone for a little bit. He wanted to talk? Fine. She'd talk to him later. She just needed to calm down and be away from the world for just a little bit. someone would find out... then the whole world would know... and someone would probably make up some lies to just make it worse. Amy just wanted to disappear. Simple as that.

[milo martin]

((i'll get to it if you'd like, but i'm on vacation right now - i might reply to it when i get home on the 9th))

He couldn't believe how fast things had gone out of control. It was unbelieveable how much he could fuck up in so little time. It wasn't good. If he had the capacity to fuck up this quickly, he was doomed for the rest of his life. He had fucked up with Katherine, he'd fucked up with Amy.

He ran and ran and ran after her until sweat soaked his shirt. As the crowd thinned out, he nearly collapsed from exhaustion. "Amy," he panted. "Please. Let's talk, okay? Please? I'm so fucking sorry. Please, Amy, one more chance. Please? Let's sit and talk..."

[amethyst hartlet]

Amy sighed, stopping and brushing her hair out of her eyes as she caught her breath. "Just give me some space Milo." She pleaded, turning to look at him. "I'll talk to you later, just... I need space right now" Amethyst took a deep breath before she turned back again to her walking. She just didnt want to be around Milo at the moment, and he had to at least respect that. If he wanted any kind of chance, he would give her space. Maybe they could talk about it and work it out later but right now Amethyst was afraid that they were both too upset, they'd just make things worse.

((lol, im on vacation too xD))

[milo martin]

They must have looked a sight, the two of them, dissheveled and red-faced, panting and out of breath. Milo was on the verge of collapse and prayed that the dry heaves he was experiencing wouldn't turn into the real thing.

"I really am sorry," he said, balancing his hands on his knees and leaning over. "I don't know what the fuck happened back there. But that wasn't me, Ames. You know me, you've known me for seven years. I'd never hurt you."

His knees gave out from exhaustion and he stumbled to the grass, tucking his legs under him, covering his face with his hands. "Please. Say something. I...I can't live like this anymore. Please."